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Wednesday, October 05, 2005
Haven't posted any of those film reviews up here for a while. So long, in fact Sin City is now out on DVD, rather than at the cinema. Ah well, here's a round up of a few reviews to keep this blog warm.
Sin City A film based on an "adult" graphic novel that hasn't been watered down for a PG audience for a change, Sin City is a comic book noir mash up that actually delivers. Each shot is a stunningly stark, black and white frame with the odd burst of colour, making this film resemble someone flicking through an extremely violent comic book right in front of your face. A star-filled cast including Bruce Willis, Mickey Rourke and Jessica Alba play an assorted bunch of prosthetic-faced criminals, low-lifes, grizzled cops and absurdly glamourous prostitutes. The action is fast, dumb and violent, like a simultaneous brick round the face and a whore on your groin. Stylistically its incredible - like Dick Tracey with the gore turned up to 11. As shallow and relentless as a man avenging a dead hooker in a dark alleyway.  Kung Fu Hustle Bonkers kung-fu action comedy about the fight between some gangsters and some poor villagers who all turn out to have secret kung fu skills. Veering between violence and slapstick the film is a special chow mein of CGI assisted kung-fooery and visual gags - like a Carry On version of Kill Bill, or Jackie Chan re-making the Matrix after visiting the illegal (as of today) mushroom stalls in Camden Market. Stupid, but very entertaining. The Fantastic Four This one features Mr Fantastic, The Thing, The Invisible Girl (played by Jessica Alba, who thankfully isnt invisible for much of the film), and that guy who can do fireballs and stuff. And they fight Doctor Doom, although he's only Doctor Doom for about ten minutes at the end, so thats pretty disappointing. Its pretty standard stuff, dealing with how the heroes (and villain) get their powers. get used to them, find out that with great power comes great responsibility etc etc. Not as good as recent high-points in the genre like Spiderman or X-men, but done with enough tongue-in-cheek style to be entertaining if utterly un-memorable. Batman Begins Though essentially more of the same (the birth of a superhero, great power=great responsibility stuff) , Batman Begins feels like it has a bit more substance. In fact, it pretty much rescues the franchise from the camp crapness that Joel Shcumaker had plunged it into, and drags it kicking and screaming with a frightened look on its face into the darkness of gothic new-grunge. It also differs from previous Batman movies on concentrating on the caped crusader himself, in an attempt to make Batman the most interesting character rather than the usually anonymous character fighting whichever over-the-top super-villain is prowling Gotham on that particular day. In addition to the usual parents being murdered storyline, Batman's past is padded out with some mountain-top martial arts action where he trains with ninjas and Liam Neeson, reprising his role as Qui Gon Jinn from Star Wars 1. Christian Bale does well as the playboy/tortured vigilante and along with Neesom, Gary Oldman, Morgan Freeman and Michael Caine all add some class to the supporting roles. The only dissapointment casting wise is the soon-to-be Mrs.Tom "Scientology" Cruise, who looks perky enough but doesnt look old enough to have graduated from Dawson's Creek let alone to a tough, hard-nosed assistant DA. In concentrating on the central motif of "fear", Batman Begins not only excorcises the ghost of "Batman & Robin" but also makes a film which really isnt for kids. The 12 certificate was initially devised so that those younger than 15 could see Tim Burton's first Batman Movie, but at times this is grimmer than that , with the Scare-Crow being a particularly nasty foe. So, its all been pretty much done before, maybe with more style by Burton, but not with this much class or brutality. A top notch comic book movie, and with thankfully no "Boy Wonder" on the horizon. A History of Violence Viggo Mortensen (or however you spell his name) plays "Tom Stall" a mild-mannered family man with a perfect family and a perfect life in Small Town America (TM). This perfect life is of course inevetiably shattered fairly soon into the movie. Two crooks try and hold up his perfect little coffee shop and Tom dispathches them pretty perfectly. So far so good still - he's hailed as a Small Town All American Hero (TM). However, then some mobsters led by a one-eyed Ed Harris turn up and claim that the reason he managed to kill those crooks so well is because "Tom" is actually an ex-mob hitman and as such is very, very good at violence.... This is David Cronenberg's most mainstream film by a long way, a slick, adult thriller with some good performances. However, there's enough Croneberg touches here to make the film linger in your mind more than your average Hollywood slice of sex, violence and serious acting. The violence, though infrequent and brief, when it arrives is squelchy, gory, and unrealistically hyper-real - as befits the work of a man who cut his gnashers on the horror genre. The sex scenes too are a little disturbing, and half-way through the film Viggo begins to morph into the archetypal Cronenberg leading-man, a sweaty, hollow-eyed man with Cronenberg's own hair. James Woods in other words. You can all of course, add your own and read other fools reviews of movies they have seen with their own eyes on the Paranoid Android Message Board Wednesday, August 24, 2005
Another big blog-chasm from me I know. I'll have a look down it and see if I can identify which carparts and cutlery could be salvaged with a magnet and a fishing rod and posted up here like rusty souvenirs. If you've come looking for photos of some the Summer's So Sutton Crew events. then they're in the mind rubber de-erasing booth of course, you fools. The bonding of Loki & Mrs Loki and Elmo Spab and Moonlove is all there for your Hello-magazine style jollies.
There's some bands I've been out and about seeing too. In no particular order, here's some links to some stuff about those bands - Lynch Rider Lulu The Regrets 13 & God The Ordinary Boys Bonnie Prince Billy Monday, July 18, 2005
Another long gap between blog-ons eh? Well, what can I say - I've been busy. A new job, train-setting to Paris, Drayton Manor and Herefordshire - life's just a rollercoaster ride, but with more vomitting, dizzyness and screaming.
And life in my adopted town of London's been a bit crazy too - one lunchtime I was standing in Trafalgar Square amongst the suprise elation as people suddenly decided that as they'd won the bid to host the Olympics they'd be a really good thing - and a week later I was standing there for a two minute silence for the tube & bus bumb victims. Life, indeed, is a clunky old fairground ride operated by pikeys and liable to spin into a circle of death at any minute. More from me later. Hope you're all well. Tuesday, May 31, 2005
Star Wars - Episode III - Revenge of the Sith
About time I got round to reviewing this one. Though I'm sure anyone out there with a web connection will have probably already seen it which makes this just a self-indulgent piece of critical masturbation. But anyway, is it Shit or Sith? Lets consider the evidence.... For a start its easily the best of the "prequals". By a whole Kessel run. Although obviously, thats not that hard. The Phantom Menace was a difficult-to-love mutant - a disney kids movie about trade disputes and galactic senators. Attack of the Clones was a mess of a film, which, after seeing episode 3, feels like nothing more than a trailer for the main event. Revenge of the Sith, in a nutshell, finally delivers what the entire prequal trilogy was meant to, which is the transformation of Anakin Skywalker into Darth Vader. Its no coincidence that the parts of the first two prequals that actually were enjoyable were the parts that harked back to the original trilogy, and as episode 3 moves closer and closer to the time & events of episode 4, so the enjoyment level creeps up for a sad old star wars fanboy such as myself. And thats not just me longing for thenostalgic days of space-ships made out of cardboard rather than the even flimsier cgi. In his prequals, Lucas seems to have forgotten all he taught himself about cohesive plot , half-way believable characters and any of the other film script 101s. Fair enough , he's rich and powerful enough not to have anyone criticise his scripts now, but surely in the 20 years in which his sole output was Howard the Duck, he could have written some better dialogue. In Episode 3, some of the faults are corrected, as much by accident probably asdesign. This film is undoubtably where the big hitters are brought out to take centre stage - The Emperor , Obi Wan, Anakin and Yoda. There's no time for Jar Jars, Mace Windus or even queen Amidalas. The only "new"character of any note who is introduced is a big robot with an inexplicable cough -which earns points in my geeky star wars sticker book because it weilds 4 (yes count 'em) 4 lightsabers. The story is much more focused - The Emperor's rise to power and paedophile-like seduction of Anakin to the dark side - and as promised, its darker too, as it had to be really. And is that really some anti-George Bush sentiment in the depiction of the Emperor's control of the galactic senate...? On the "dark side", the film still has plenty enough rubbish moments to remind you of the faults of the previous prequels - appalling dialogue, the "human" actors being much less animated than their animated counterparts, an over-reliance on CGI that makes some scenes resemble levels from the computer game....yet this one just about has enough old style star wars action to give you the goodwill to overlook these glaring annoyances (or "ewoks" as they were called in Return of the Jedi) Lucas almost seems to admit that he created his best characters in the original 3 - hence the constant appearance of them in the prequels. In some instances this gives continuity - in others (ie. the droids) it just creates gaping sarlac-like plot holes , which again take some temporary blindness to ignore. When viewed all together, they 3 prequels work best as the longest trailer in the world for the emergance of Darth Vader. In fact, ignore the first two, just watch this and you'd get the whole gist of the thing. Anyway, to sum up that ramble, Episode 3 is essential viewing still for any fan of Star Wars (though so is Caravan of Courage) - its enjoyable, disappointing, and exhilerating all at once - reminding you of how exciting star wars used to be and how much of a soul-less franchise its become. In short - its Anakin Skywalker in a Darth Vader costume. Thursday, May 12, 2005
Just a quick post to cheers to everyone who made it out for one of my birthday celebrations (I turned from an old 29 to a sprightly 28 in case you need to know) whether they were in old London town or in the capital city of Birmingham. Apologies also to the girl whose birthday we crashed last saturday. I hope you had a good one despite us, and the Banjo didnt cause too much mess with his glitter-jizz. There are pictures from said Birmingham bash HERE.
Will hopefully see all you Brummy crowd next week for the Sugarfoot Stomp which I've promised to go to for the last who knows how long, and maybe try and catch some of this year's Fierce Festival . Didnt manage to see any of its perversions last year, but this is what happened when I went to the Fierce festival in 2003 so maybe that was safest.
Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
Its been a while in development hell but the film of the towel of the tv series of the book of the radio show has finally arrived. Its all shiny and CGI and everything, but underneath its pretty much the same quirky old guide to life, the universe and everything. Fears the film version would be too hollywood-ised are pretty much unfounded. Apart from Ford Prefect being played by Mos Def there's still plenty of english eccentricity, cups of tea and depressed robots. Tim from The Office was obviously born an Everybaby, ready to grow into an Everyman character, and is perfect for Arthur Dent, and all the other actors perform with plenty of style too. Its not perfect - a lot of the jokes have been lost, but they are unfortunate casualties of squeezing a series (and some extra new scenes) into an hour and 45 minute long film. And many of the surviving gags will be overly familiar to those who've seen/heard/read/worn Hitchhiker's in any of its previous incarnations. For me, the pleasure of this adaptation comes from seeing what modern day FX and very visual imaginations of promo-makers Hammer & Tongs come up with to describe the Adam's universe. Visually the film is stunning, a wacky world of hi and low tech effects and superb design, managing both a glossy CGI Hollywood sheen and a python-esque low-budget sci-fi flavour. Purists will obviously find plenty to quibble about, but this as faithful an adaptation as you're probably going to get these days - a daft space adventure that somehow manages to get away with being as offbeat and as english as a high-budget space movie can be. Very enjoyable indeed. Friday, April 29, 2005
Downfall
Downfall is the story of the last few days of the Second World War , culminating in Hitler's suicide and the surrender of Berlin to the Russains. Set predominantly in Hitler's bunker, the Fuhrer is shown losing the plot as he loses the war. Plenty of other major "characters" from the Third Reich appear too - Himmler, Goebbels etc, all with their own agendas, which basically boil down to a choice between suicide and surrender. So many people chose the former, this film must surely hold the record for most deaths by self-inflicted gunshot wound to the head, by a long way. Its based on eye-witness accounts, most notably that of Hitler's young secretary. She is the most sypathetic character in a host of what are now almost cartoonesque villians from history - though as she herself admits at the end - her youth is no excuse for going along with the evils of Nazism. The acting is superb, the action intense and utterly believable even if the subject matter is unbelievably grim. You know its going to end badly for all these characters and whilst you feel no sympathy, its hard not to be affected by the sight of Goebbel's wife killing her perfect Aryan children one-by-one, rather than letting them grow up in a world without National Socialism. The film is probably overlong and does get bogged down around the middle with scene after scene of successions of generals getting a right bollocking from an increasingly deranged Hitler. And my knowledge of that period of history is patchy at best so I did spend a lot of the time trying to work out who was who and who was responsible for what atrocity. However, it is exceptionally well-made, very powerful and well worthing seeing - just don't go expecting friday-night feel-good entertainment. The Edukators There's no Hitler in this german film, and the only war is the war on capitalism. "The Edukators" are two guys who break into the homes of the rich, rearrange their furniture and leave the odd anti-capitalist slogan around the place. So far, so inafective really - like a clandestine version of Changing Rooms - but then one of the guys takes the other's girlfriend on a break in and they end up accidentaly kidnapping one of the nouveau riche. The action then switches to a remote cabin in the mountains where the three young idealists have to decide what to do with their captive. For such a simple story with only a few characters, the film is way too long and lacks a lot of the tension you might expect from film about kidnapping and break-ins. However, it does keep you interested by focusing on the characters and is more of a love story and a discussion of ideas than a suspense-thriller. The acting is all top notch and the soundtrack is pleasantly filled with alt-rock angsty numbers. Not a great film,, but worth catching Friday, April 15, 2005
Ok, so what's happened is this right - Ruby has added one of my moodily shot artistic poses on the roof 6 floors above the consumeristic chaos that is the OC to a site called Butter Couple . As far as I know its nothing to do with Butter Dogs , but I'm willing to be corrected on that one.
So far Ruby's been matched with a guy who looks worryingly like her brother, and my only match so far is a boy/girl thing in a bear costume. The site has no flaws as far as I can see! So yeah, its just some new variation on the Hot or Not theme, but for me the fun is in telling the stories behind the various couples ie. " she only got together with him because he groomed her for 12 months but after 6 days she returned home to her tearful parents after a television appeal and he got put on the sex offenders register." So, go on, match me up with some stunner and maybe we can make four-toed interweb babies together by swapping semen down the phone line with an egg held on a server in Ontario for frustrated cam-whores. You may have realised this is the first post I've made whilst on cabernet sauvignon for a while - and will no doubt be overjoyed that due to computer rehabilitation I no longer just have to post from work. Its NSFW eds. Hooray say the fortunate few. Tuesday, April 12, 2005
Some gig news to publicise and see if anyone wants to go with me.....
Japanese/American post punk mayhem from Cyclub at the Hope & Anchor on Monday 18th of April Then there's Mr Cat's favourites - The legendary Republic of Loose play the Metro club on Thursday April 21st And of course I'm off to see Cradle of Filth at the Forum this Saturday. Let me know if there's any other gigs you want shouting out about on this website. It gets at least ten hits a day you know. And in Blog News - Be sure to pay a visit to Thee Shop . And once you've done browsing for thee goods, complete your education at the Southern School Tuesday, March 22, 2005
9 Songs
9 Songs is the latest film to get the Daily Mail and the Crazy Christian Voice in a tizzy - a low-budget, low-on-plot account of two people who meet, have some sex and watch some bands. And thats about it really as far as plot goes, and it pretty much sums up the execution too. The two people are an average looking british guy and a young skinny american girl, and the film intersperses scenes of them having sex with scenes of them watching bands at the Brixton Academy. Its the sex scenes that have of course caused all the fuss rather than the shaky footage of the Dandy Warhols, and there is a lot of sex, and yes, the odd shot of an erection or penetration or even ejaculation. Its hardly porn though, more like low-budget art-house sex where the performers tried method acting instead of pretending. Its "shocking" in the sense that its not the kind of thing you'd see in a mainstream film, yet even more bizarre for me was the fact that despite seeing countless sex scenes in countless films, an erect penis is somehow "groundbreaking". I don't know 'bout you, but one usually features in most of the sex i've had. (As for the other times, I was very drunk, OK?) For me, whilst not a great film by any stretch of the imagination, 9 Songs worked as a different take on a relationship movie. There were no "misunderstandings", no "will they-wont they" moments, no stutterings as a good-natured but nervous english guy tried and failed at first to seduce an attractive american woman - instead he just put his tongue to much better use. In describing a relationship in such a way, just through sex and music, there was an air of realism, with only a few scenes not ringing true. Much of this is down to how you relate to it - its quite an empty and voyeuristic experience and you either fill in the blanks yourself or simply get bored - for example Ruby was utterly bored throughout and declared it to be possibly the worst film she'd ever seen. I thought it wasn't too bad, and either way, I quite enjoyed the music in between the shagging. Whether this sort of explicitness will creep into the mainstream remains to be seen, but I for one look forward to the days when no romantic comedy will be complete without Sandra Bullock gnoshing off Hugh Grant whilst Meg Ryan has a real orgasm Constantine Basically, Ted has to go on a Bogus Journey, visiting Hell several times in order to save the world from the son of satan. Unfortunately, Bill is nowhere to be seen, so Ted has to make do with Rachel Weisz, who accompanied him on Ted & Rachel's Ludicrous Nuclear Fusion Adventure . In this film, Ted plays Neo from the Matrix, except in this film he smokes a lot to show he is even more tortured - however, his expression remains the same, as if frozen in Bullet-Time forever. Its seems he still can't seem to quite remember where he put his keys or how to express emotion. He can however, wear black and wield weapons as well as ever as he rescues fesity yet lonely female cop Rachel from the forces of CGI hell (otherwise known as Gavin Rossdale from Bush). Yep, its a load of supernatural nonsense, catholic guilt and computer generated monsters. Think The Matrix meets End of Days and you've pretty much got it. If that sounds appealing to you, then it could be just the instantly forgetable, dumb-ass, almost-so-bad-its-good, comic-book movie that you're looking for, dude! Tuesday, February 22, 2005
Oi Oi. A new blog post? Whats all this about then? Its about time, thats what. Been just about the busiest Ive been ever recently (to those of you who know me, thats not that busy) so not had chance to keep this webslab updated with fresh word-corpses.
I'm sure i've got loads and loads of nonsense to spout, but cant for the life of me think of any at the mo. I'm sure i'll add to this post as time goes by, with a recap from the mind-rubber. PWEI are still Incredible by the way. Bit late but the New Years 04/05 pictures are here in case anyone who hasnt seen them wants to see them
2046
The much anticipated, 5 years in the making, epic meditation on lost love from Wong Kar Wai is finally here. The film stars Tony Leung as the central character, a womanising yet broken-hearted writer of newspaper columns , and is set mainly in Hong Kong in the 60s, in two apartments, 2046 and 2047. He is also writing a sci-fi novel, set in the year 2046, where people go to recapture lost memories and nothing ever changes..... The film takes us through the women in Leung's life, in a series of moments, encounters, and beautifully shot scenes - oh, and Zhang Ziyi's in it, which gets the film a bonus point automatically as far as im concerned. There's a few jumps in time which take some fathoming, and apparently its an unnoficial sequel to In the Mood For Love which may have made things a bit clearer if i'd have seen that film, but its nowhere near as hard to follow as other reviews have lead me to belive it might be. But for me, the film was less of a narrative than an attempt to capture a mood, a feeling - a feeling of trying to recapture that lost love . Id like a repeat viewing to maybe reveal the exact details of the plot - but i'm worried in case it reveals the movie to be as shallow as it is beautiful, sort of like sex with an android might be.
Million Dollar Baby
Clint Eastwood is a gruff and gravelly and Morgan Freeman is even more gravelly as two old-timers who teach waitress-from-the-wrong-side-of-the-tracks Hilary Swank how to box. Most of the film is a standard sports movie rags-to-riches type tale, albeit a very well acted and well directed one. However, the last part of the film is altogether something darker - not so much a twist as an unexpected change of direction and tone. Million Dollar Baby is a good movie, solidly made and the three leads give a lot of depth to their stereotypical characters. (Though if I was trying to pick flaws I'd say it does seem a tad contrived in ticking the boxes needed for Oscar nomination - triumph over adversity etc) Whether its an enjoyable movie is another matter, any feel-good factor built up in the rise to the top is laid flat on the canvas with the downbeat final third, but its definitly a film worth seeing. Sideways Sideways is a road-trip buddy movie about two guys on a mission to get drunk and laid in the week before one of them gets married. What lifts this above a billion other teen comedies is the fact that both guys are middle-aged, and their mission to get drunk involves a wine-tasting tour through californian wine country. Miles is the divorced failed author and wine snob, and Jack is his womanising former actor buddy who's about to get married - think Swingers aged ten years or so, or even Harold & Kumar aged twenty. Its consistantly funny in a quiet chuckle kind of way rather than a laugh out loud way, and would definitly be best enjoyed with a bottle of wine or two in the cinema (Pinot Noir of course) but it definitly is a very enjoyable, oak-aged, dense yet transcendant film with a hint of musk and desperation, like a middle-aged man in his underpants reading Barely Legal Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle Soon to be released as "Harold and Kumar get the Munchies" in the UK, this film is from the creators of "Dude Where's My Car" - which tells you pretty much all you need to know, in fact in one scene the characters lose their car and say "Dude, Where's My Car?" Well it isnt quite all you need to know - this film's USP is that Harold and Kumar are chinese and indian respectively, adding an ethnic twist to the over-populated teenage stoner-movie genre. There are jibes at racial stereotypes throughout, but the message (if there is one) seems to be simply that even over-acheiving asian students will turn into witless idiots obsessed by fast food after a couple of tokes just like any other american will. Noble sentiments deifinitly. Its not all bad, there are a few funny jokes amid the by-the-numbers stereotypes and scatalogical situations. Neil Patrick Harris makes a genius cameo, and the two heroes ride on a cheetah. All in all, one for the teenage boy within us all (and we've all had one of those in us at some time i'm sure) and it is funnier than "Dude Where's My Car", but then again so is war and pestilence. Team America : World Police Is it funny? yeah, it made me laugh. Is pretty much the only joke that its an action movie played entirely by puppets? Erm, yeah. There's plenty of cock jokes too, but anyone expecting the satire of some of South Park's finest moments will be dissapointed. It starts off brilliantly with Team America: World Police arriving on the scene and blowing up Paris in order to kill a few terrorists. So far, so anti-american heavy-handed brainless interventionism. But then, in South Park style (ie. take the piss out of everyone equally) the film turns its sights on anti-war Hollywood actors. In fact, it ends so gung-ho American that you can imagine George W Bush shouting "America, Fuck Yeah" at the screen, at least until one of his advisors tells him it was only a puppet of Michael Moore that blew up. If its a satire at all it works best as a spoof of Bruckheimer action movies rather than saying anything about the war on terror. Interestingly enough, due to the puppet sex-scene, the movie was given a NC-17 Rating by the MPAA. The scene was edited twelve times before it received an R rating. That probably tells you more about America than this film does. House of the Flying Daggers "From the producer of Crouching Tiger and the director of Hero" should give you a good idea of what this film's all about - more beautifully shot martial arts and unrequited love thats what. This time the indescribably lovely Zhang Zhiyi is a blind swordswoman who's a member of the "House of Flying Daggers" - a sort of ancient chinese robin hood type gang. The ingredients are all there but it shows how much i've been spoiled by Crouching Tiger, Hero & Zatoichi that this film was slightly dissapointing. The film feels unbalanced - story at the beginning, action scenes in the middle, but then the final third gets bogged down with the love story and endless shots of trees. Tuesday, November 30, 2004
Hero
Very much following the formula of Crouching Tiger - take a standard martial arts movie and give it a high gloss make-over with an art-house director and actors who can act as well as kick bits of wood. Crouching Tiger was a beautiful film to look at, and at times Hero is eye-achingly stunning. Each chapter of the story is told in a different primary colour and each shot, from wide vistas of stunning scenery to the tiniest droplets of water on the blade of a sword, attempt to seduce you by virtually licking your eyeballs in a very suggestive manner. Although, as Ruby pointed out, at times this does make it look like a car advert. Jet Li wisely remains fairly silent as the "Nameless" Hero character, and lets the other fine actors do the emoting for him, notably Tony Leung, Maggie Cheung and the absoloutely lovely Zhang Ziyi. And of course they all do well in the wire-fu fight sequences. If this film has a weakness, its that you don't get to care about any of the characters due to the structure of differing flashbacks. But then again, the central theme here is rooted in the political as opposed to the personal - and its a theme that will no doubt have gone down well in Communist part headquarters in China. Hero's visual beauty almost fools you into an emotional response that the plot doesnt warrant, but its still a treat for those who like a bit of arthouse sauce on their martial arts pie. Coffee & Cigarettes Jim Jarmusch's latest is a mostly improvised selection of short scenes all with the unifying theme of a conversations over coffee & cigarettes. And thats about it. The main reason for seeing this is for its very eclectic cast of actors and musicians, often playing themselves. In fact, the best scenes are the ones featuring musicians - the White Stripes discuss science, Tom Waits & Iggy Pop don't really get on and the Wu Tang Clan discuss alternative medicine with Bill Murray. Apart from those scenes, and the one where Steve Coogan and Alfred Molina buck the trend by drinking tea, the other six or so scenes featuring actors playing parts are utterly unenlightening and just serve to make you want caffeine and nicotine - some sort of simulation to make up for the ponderous dialogue. You could edit it down to make a wrly amusing half-hour comedy show, but personally, if I had those actors (Cate Blanchett and Steve Buscemi are in it as well) , I'd probably try and make some kind of zombie-comedy rock-opera instead. Bubba Ho-tep Elvis joining up with JFK to fight an egyptian mummy is a pretty strange idea for a film, but thats basically the premise for Bubba Ho-Tep. It all makes perfect sense though, because its set in the present day and neither Elvis or JFK are dead, just very old and in a nursing home. (JFK is also now black as well) The screen legend that is Bruce Campbell plays the crotchety ageing old King to perfection, as a man who's bitterness and impotence have nearly overtaken his (artificial) hip swagger. However, life is put back in Elvis's pecker when an egyptian mummy starts sucking the life from the arseholes of the pensioners around him and its up to him to save the day. All in all, a quirky little low-budget film with great performances and an amusing script. "Ask not what your rest home can do for you, but what you can do for your rest home" Oldboy Continuing my obsession with movies from the far east that feature extreme violence, me and Ruby popped along to see this charming little feature. Its basically the story of a man who one day is kidnapped, and imprisoned for 15 years.To add insult to incarceration, whilst he's in there, his wife is murdered and he's framed for it. When he's eventually released (with no explanation) his quest is to find out who kidnapped him, and most importantly why. He eventually achieves this - but its not an easy journey - along the way there's plenty of teeth-pulling torture and live squid eating for a start. Easily one of the best films I've seen in a long while, Old Boy is as visually stunning, in a dark and dirty way, as David Fincher's best stuff, combined with the stylish ultraviolence of Takeshi Miike or Beat Takeshi films. The plot takes some following, and some scenes take some stomaching, but highly recomended to those of you who like this sort of thing. Hellboy Comic book adaptation, featuring the excellent Ron Perlman as the rock-handed Devil-spawn-turned-reluctant-hero , Selma Blair as his fire-starting-love-interest, and Niles from Frasier as an annoying-camp-fish-man. Its certainly not the disaster that most comic book adaptations are, but it doesnt really deserve the hype it got just by not being shit. It could have been a lot funnier, or a lot darker, or even both. The mecha-nazi is an ace badguy, but underused in favour of a lot of cgi monster nonsense. Indeed, there's way too much fighting cgi monsters in a tunnel action, something which is getting pretty dull, especially as it features heavily in Del Toro's other films, Blade 2 and Mimic. He really does need to get outside in the fresh air more often I think, and who knows what Freud would make of his dark, damp, tunnel obsession. Monday, October 04, 2004
Well, my computer's still broken, so this is a blog from my new work. Just got time to say a big shout out UK-stylee mo'fo' to the Moving Units . Top band, top blokes. They've probably left the UK now for the US of A, but well worth seeing if you can find 'em.
And also try see these crazy chicklets - The Priscillas who are out and about gigging at the moment.
The Isle
An "unconventional" Korean love story. Unconventional in that its set entirely in small huts floating on a lake, and is a love story between a mute prostitute and a suicidal ex-cop. And there's not many traditional expressions of love, but plenty of self-mutilation with fish hooks. Nice cinematography, not much dialogue and probably worth seeing, especially if you're after an antidote to anything where Hugh Grant has a misunderstanding with a girl yet eventually ends up marrying her. And there's a bit where a fat Korean man shits into the lake and you get a fish eye view of it. Thursday, September 16, 2004
Well, Mr Cat's bust my computer and it's refusing to come back to life, so its blogging from work for me. (Hence no nice pictures from my digital camera of the London Eye which you all really wanted to see.) So erm, quick catch up on what I've been up to purely for my memory purposes -
Went on the London Eye and suprisingly didnt get vertigo. Saw an adaptation of Haruki Murakami's The Elephant Vanishes" Saw They Might be Giants and the genius of Corn Mo at the Astoria. Went to the Make Trade Fair gig at the Hammersmith Apollo which featured REM, The Thrills, Razorlight, Jamelia, Ricky Gervais and erm, Minnie Driver - often all together in collaboration type things. So, at least I've been getting out of the house. Starting a new job monday, so not sure when my next blog-on will be.......
A Tale of Two Sisters
A disturbing if ultimately very confusing Korean ghost story, concerning two sisters, their wicked stepmother and some ghostly goings-on. I don't scare easily, but for two thirds of this I was genuinly unnerved, due to a combination of drop-your-ribena-carton jumps and a creepy atmosphere. I could tell it had got to me due to me genuinely thinking things like "dont go in the closet!" when in most horror films I'm willing whoever the next victim is to go into the closet as quickly as possible. I was also intrigued as to what the hell was happening - I only wish I was any the wiser now, having watched the final third with its myriad of plot twists, flashbacks and more and more unnecessary jumpy bits. The ending, to put it mildly, is open to interpretation, and it would maybe make more sense if I watched it again - though I doubt it. I'd recommend it if you like feeling scared and confused, but not if you're hoping to reach the end of the film feeling any less scared and confused. Thursday, September 09, 2004
Seemingly inspired by the Space Banjo's eating habits, a guy with a funny ginger moustache decides to eat nothing but McDonalds for a whole month. You can read all about it on his website here. This documentary follows his descent into burger addiction and health problems the doctor's hadn't even dreamt of. At first, as a man who does like burgers, the film made me feel pretty hungry, as Morgan starts to tuck into his first few juicy meat sandwiches - however by the end I was feeling pretty sick, and longing for a shot of a piece of fruit or a vegetable to make my eyes feel less greasy. His girlfriend, a vegan chef (I empathised with this guy straight away) is at first less than impressed with his experiment, then apalled as he becomes impotent, then scared as it looks as if he may well die from his McDiet.
The film intersperses his weight gaining with interviews and facts and figures about the McEvil corporation and fast food in general - similar to the sort of stuff found in Fast Food Nation and No Logo. All in all, its an entertaining film, although whether anybody really needs a film to tell them that eating nothing but mcDonalds for a month makes you fat and unhealthy is another matter. Thursday, September 02, 2004
Fahrenheit 911
Well, a lot has been said about Michael Moore's documentary. So erm, here's a bit more.... Its an impassioned, but over-simplified mess of a film basically - although the fact that what he's saying has been deemed at all controversial (ie. george bush is an idiot, war is wrong) shows you we are quite possibly living in worrying times. The film is a dizzying montage of information and propaganda, taking in everything from George Bush's early years of incompetence, through 911 and up to the war in Iraq and the abuse of prisoners. At times its over-milked for emotion, or shock value, and some issues are given nowhere near the screen time they deserve - its almost like a collection of trailers for some much more in-depth documentaries. The star of the show is undoubtably good old Dubya Bush - though Moore can't take much credit for this, because it seems you only have to point a camera in the president's direction and he'll say something stupid and grin like a lobotomized chimp. For anyone who's taken an interest in current events and read some of the left wing press there's a lot here you'll know already - however, whilst in the UK there'll be a large element of preaching to the converted, Moore is only really targeting anyone in the US who may even possibly be thinking of re-electing Bush - indeed the UK barely gets a mention throughout. The hope is that for those spoonfed disinformation by Fox News this film will provide an introductory lesson into why Bush is not only a moron but quite possibly the most dangerous man on the planet. Indeed, for UK audiences, probably the most eye-opening thing will be the Fox News excerpts which come across like a cross between the Day Today "war!" episode and the news clips in Starship Troopers. That and the "patriot act" - a piece of legislation that makes you think someone in the Bush administration read Orwell's 1984 not as a cautionary tale, but as an instruction manual. So, to sum up I didnt find it as enlightening or as well-made as Bowling for Columbine, but a lot of that has to do with the film not being aimed at me whatsoever. However, if it can influence enough people to vote against Bush, it could well be the one of most important films of all time, even if it is nowhere near one of the best. And Moore should be applauded for at least showing that the right wing don't have the monopoly on fat loud-mouths. |
